Garbage days revisited

OK, I'm writing this with the assumption that like me you get the fact that the Ramones are the greatest rock band of all time. (This is one of the objective, not subjective, truths of the music world. I'm sorry if no one informed you. The Beatles who?) With this truth wrapped around your cerebellum, it follows that any band that pulls of a reasonable approximation of the Ramones must also sound good - enjoying something solely on originality is the reason we have to put up with crap like the various arcane forms for electronic music.

There's something about the perfection of buzzsaw four-chord melodies and so-stoopid-they're-smart lyrics that sets me off like a four-year-old. I have a college degree and everything, but I can't help but celebrate the things I really love: drinking fucking hard, acting retarded, dancing like a mental patient, awful cheap horror movies, fast food, more drinking, getting messed up about messed up girls, and Mr. T. Just because I can use "post modern" correctly in a sentence doesn't mean I'm not at heart some drunk-but-lovable yahoo.

It follows, then, that I would fall madly in love with Sloppy Seconds, the band that coined the phrase "junk rock." They're the kind of group that I can imagine myself in, rocking the shit out the Quarry House and shouting myself hoarse. Surf-flanged punk guitars and speed-fueled 50's rock'n'roll drumming capped off with a sarcastic, goofball cherry. They're everything their name implies, a ragtag tumble through the joyous explosion of inebriation and girls and running around like a demented child.

Whenever someone tells you that fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, tell them "yes the fuck it is!" Then quit your job, put on More Trouble Than They're Worth, and proceed to get fucking awesome. Their new record, Endless Bummer, comes out soon, and you better believe I'll be front and center singing along to every word of "Smashed Again." Dirty Old Man-core? Indubitably.

The Horror of Party Beach - http://www.mediafire.com/?9ym3bymx1by

So Fucked Up - http://www.mediafire.com/?3ee9u1h9mm7

The Kids Are All Drunk - http://www.mediafire.com/?39yd0om1is0

Smashed Again - http://www.mediafire.com/?8g5girwnrjx

You Got a Great Body (But Your Record Collection Sucks) - http://www.mediafire.com/?eb0j3gi0yzl